The beginning will feature the character asking where life drawing is. The receptionist tells her to follow the signs. This sets the character up to read the signs wrong because of her bad site. She may also tell her where to change; realistically a life model would not turn up to the building in just a robe. This is why we filmed the character coming out from the curtains doing up her robe. We must remember to keep quite during the final shooting so that we don't have problems with sound ("do it again") if we want to adjust the time of each clip. If we do the receptionist scene it will include the main characters walking out of the shot and then a clip of her walking out of the changing rooms. This would be the furthest door in the corridor shot.
There is also issues with the continuity between the first and second shot. This is why we cut the first shot so that she runs out of the shot. This hopefully implies that the second shot is a different scene. We can also see her vest which doesn't look realistic.
We have discussed the necessity of her being late as it may detract from the cause of her mistake; she reads the sign wrong because of her bad eyesight, not because she's in a rush. However, her rush is necessary because without it she wouldn't walk straight into the middle of the group and strip.
During the final shooting of the shot of her walking towards the group while taking her robe off needs to frame more of the main character. It should also feature more people from the group. This involves us recruiting more actors/actresses.
When she drops the robe to the floor she's too close to the group and it doesn't look like she's in the middle of a circle. We think this shot should also include the other side of the circle, for instance another pair of feet between the life model's and the camera. This is to avoid the people looking like a circle and not just a line, which it does.
This is also the case with the shot after. After showing some people outside of the group this draft they commented that they thought the three people in the group were judges, perhaps because charlotte's (middle) legs are crossed and her hands are on her knees. For the advert to be more comedic their expressions of grief and shock must be more exaggerated. This could include mascara running down their faces, blowing noses with tissue, gasps, sniffles, sobbing etc. We will ask some friends who do drama a level to act in our final shoot.
The last shot works extremely well. However we can see her bra straps; we will acquire a skin colour bra for final shoot. The last shot also holds continuity issues; the door she walks through at the beginning has no window, whereas the door in the last does. We have considered the last shot showing the door closing (getting a glimpse of the scene) to reveal the bereavement sign. However we don't want to not use the glass shot.
In conclusion we need to book more time to shoot as many shots need a while to set up and get right (e.g. the shot of the group with the main character's nude side took a long time because the framing had to be perfect). We also need to get more actors to pad out the group and create realism. We realise that our advert is lacking in males which restricts our target audience. However our actress isn't comfortable with males being present during the nude shoot!
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